SLEEP (2003-Dec-03)

night after night
i lay in my bed
trying to sleep

relax each muscle
and relax again
as each re-tenses

let go, let go, let go

a grip of fear
settles about my heart
ICANTSLEEPICANTSLEEP

tomorrow in exhaustion
i can't keep on so
OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD

let go, let go, let go

go through, go through
come through the other side
leave it behind

breathe
breathe
breathe

let go, let go, let go

my heart so tight
i feel each beat
will i feel it stop?

i can't breathe deep
no room for lung-swell
can't release, can't ungrip

let go, let go, let go

i pace restlessly
as a panther in forest
home, belong, live

pacing, growling
baleful eyes watch, watch
pace the fence walling me in

let go, let go, let go

metaphor of darkness
deeper than sky
broader than ocean

shadowed vision
daylight darkened
world tuned out

let go, let go, let go

if the model doesn't work
build a new one

let go, let go, let go

what model?
what framework?
what guidelines?

let go, let go, let go

look what i have written in your heart

look?

look deep

icantiCANTICANT I WON'T!!!

let go, let go, let go

I WON'T!!!

let go, let go, let go

must i?

let go, let go, let go

{sigh} i know

let go, let go, let go

stand up, turn around
walk through the gate
i knew was there

step into the warmth
of sun, of peace
look behind me and cry

at last i sleep

(adapted from "What do you do when the way is 'down'?" written 10 November 2001)